Little Things

I sit here this morning ready to take on my day. I got up at a decent time, got the kids up and started, and got my morning cup of joe. As it was brewing my boy (a Joe himself, hehe) asks me what an obituary is. "Why do you ask? Is it mentioned in the book you're reading?" I ask. "Yes" he answered. I then explain what an obituary is and proceed to explain that his dad had one. "He did?" "Yup" "Where's it at?" "We have a copy somewhere and it's online (through the funeral parlor we used). Want me to read it to you?" Surprisingly he says he does.

It surprised me because in all this time since Doug's passing I've let Joey be the guide, Lizzie too. I've let them tell me when it's OK to talk about dad and when it's not, I've not pushed them to do anything they've not wanted to do in regards to their dad. And of the two Joey has been the one not wanting to talk of Doug UNLESS he brings it up. Even when we had the viewing I stayed home with Joey while my best friend took Lizzie because he didn't want to go and she did. The only thing I did do was take Joey to the parlor the day of the viewing so we could have a private viewing. I didn't push Joey, but rather encouraged him as I didn't want him to look back and regret not seeing his dad one last time. During that private viewing Joey was reserved, but he had that moment.

So, today. I read him the obituary and knew that he probably wished he hadn't heard it, but he pressed on and listened. He teared up, but I'm sure it was for the same reason I did...good memories were rising to the surface and the realization that dad is not here hit again.

But my Joe is resilient and knows how to get the point across that he's done...right after we read the obituary and talked for a moment he turned his attention to the wire he was holding making it dance and marking the end of the conversation. I love my boy ;-)