Now on to the meat of the matter. Last week I was given the privilege of going back to the sunrise (4 am to about 8 am) shift at UPS. Let me back up a bit. When Doug died I asked if I could go home early to get my kids off to school. Where I was at they couldn't let me, but they moved me to an area that would allow that and then (after I told them that I didn't need to leave early anymore) they moved me to another area that I really did not want to be in. I loved the people, but it wasn't what I wanted to be doing. Then last May my kids asked that I see about switching to the day-shift (11 am to about 3 pm) so that I could be home with them in the mornings. I was hesitant but looked into it. I prayed about it, as did the kids, and two weeks after putting in for it I was transferred. I was so grateful that they were able to have a spot for me there. However, I missed the sunrise shift, specifically where I had started at in the first place.
Over the next few months things just seemed to get worse and worse on the day-shift. Nothing horrible, I was just finding that I did not enjoy going to work and my countenance had changed in regards to work. But I didn't realize it until after I worked double shifts over the month of December (UPS peak season) with those that I had worked with when I first started there. I saw that I loved it, that I really enjoyed them and the work was steady. The thoughts of going back to that area and that shift began to take residence within my days and finally I asked the supervisors if I could come back, if they would have a spot for me. They said they would find a place for me. I then talked to my kids about it and put in the necessary paperwork to be transferred back. The kids were mixed about it: Joey was initially upset and then warmed to the idea; Lizzie was game, I really don't think she really had an opinion about what shift I worked!
Then was the waiting game. I waited and asked what was going on and waited some more. Only after Joey (who, remember, was not really wanting me to go back!) prayed that I get transferred did I get transferred! And, as stated on another post, it happened after I was so just ugly!
So, it's been almost two weeks since I got transferred, and I love work again! All last week that is the one thing that I noticed...that I LOVED work. But that's not what this is about. It's about full circle. That can mean many things, I'm sure. But for me it means that I have come full circle. I started out in that area, with people that I love to be around doing work that isn't hard, but isn't easy either. Then I got moved around after Doug died. And now I am back. Doug's death has represented so many things and in this instance it's like a road. During the time I was away was like those bumpy times after he died, finally ending with me in tears on my knees! Only when I was ready to get healed and get on my knees did peace come. Peace in both my personal and work lives.
Am I there yet? Have I been healed? Honestly I'm really not sure, yet I know that I am well on the path to ultimate healing and I am learning how to get there!
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