2010

This is a new year, I know, kinda a DUH! But this is huge for me. I feel God is challenging me about 2009. I want so badly to hold on to 2009, it was such a pivotal year! Yet, it's just a year. It has a beginning (REALLY GOOD!), a middle (REALLY SUCKY!) and an end (it was ok). Just like a book.

And this is where the challenge is. Do I just move on as if nothing happened? NO! Doug was too big a part of my life to just do that! (OK, he was just big!) Do I dwell where Doug once was? No, not that either.

God is showing me that, yes, He is a God of yesterday, today and forever. He was there when I welcomed 2009. He was there when I was at the hospital on that fateful day. He was there when I closed the door on 2009. He's here now, as I type this out. He's here holding me up, enabling me to do the everyday things that need to get done and all without FREAKING OUT! He's here when my kids are having a bad day or ask questions about their daddy's passing. And He will continue to be here. He'll be here when Lizzie crowns in Impact Girls Ministry, walking where her daddy would. He'll be here when Joey goes camping for the first time WITHOUT his momma. He'll be here when they graduate, when they find that special someone and when they start families of their own. He'll even be there when that special someone comes into my life.

So as I venture out into this new year know that I still and always will miss my husband TERRIBLY! BUT this is a new year! What would I be missing out on if I lived in 2009?? I don't wanna find out! I wanna find out what 2010 holds for us! I have this hope that there is more than just "being", there's more to this life than being a couch potato allowing my feelings to rule me rather than me rule them!

My prayer is that you, too, will have that same hope. Hope that says, "this situation may stink, but I KNOW that there is something better for me on the other side. AND EVEN IF it doesn't get any better I choose to praise my God for all that I DO have!"