Names

I sit here this morning, resting in His presence. It's the best way to start a day in my opinion, and one way I wish I did more of...however, that is not the point of this post. As I am sitting here I am reading verses, proclaiming them over myself, when the last line hits me solid, square in the nose, "I am not the great 'I AM', but by the grace of God I am what I am". As I said those words aloud I started crying. You see, that name of God is precious to me. All His names are, but this one is the one He spoke directly to me in two very different fashions.

About five or six years ago a friend of mine passed away, leaving me angry and confused. I had SO many questions, wondering why He would take someone so young. I actually yelled at Him. And you know what? He yelled back! He said very lovingly and firmly, "I AM!". At that point I shut up, He had spoken and I knew when I should just be quiet, lol! That was the first time.

Now fast forward from that point to July 17, 2009. Most of you know that that day was the day my world went black, torn from the inside out. That morning my sweet Doug went to be with Jesus and I was left in a whirlwind of questions yet again. I calmly, quietly, meekly asked, "Why?" Why would God take Doug? Why would He allow this to happen? Why would He leave us so physically alone? Guess what His answer was? A calm, quiet, meek, "I am". Instantly, I felt calmed, felt His peace all over me. Did I have the answers I wanted? NO. But I knew the One who had the answers and I had the peace that if He wanted me to know He would tell me in His time.

This brings us to today. Today is a reminder that He is the great I AM, the One Who was, Who is, and Who is to come. Do I have the answers? No. Do I still live in the midst of the storm? At times, however the One who calms the storms is with me and more often than not if I give them to Him He will take them, or at least stay with me through the storm.