Dream

I woke up this morning after another dream. Yep, another dream of Doug. I had one last week and that particular day was horrible. This dream I choose to make sure that didn't happen. I know that Doug was in it, I remember thinking, "I cannot wait to put my FB status as 'married' again!" and also "Sweet! Doug can take the kids to the pinewood derby and I can get my test done without any interruptions!" and then I woke up.

Instantly I was thrown into a tailspin, simply because this was the kind of dream that I thought was real and usually I wake up devastated by those dreams. Before I got out of bed I remember praying, "OK Lord, that was tough and this is even tougher, but please show me what this means. Please help me to take away the things most obvious in this dream and show me what You're trying to show me."

Not to mention a few weeks back as I was on my way home from work a favorite song came on, Phil Wickham's Divine Romance...I've decided it's the song I share with my Husband, the Lover of my soul. Anyway, at that moment I felt that He was telling me to dream. I don't ever remember dreaming as a child of a wedding or having kids or anything like that, so it's like He was challenging me to dream of a wedding, what it would be like and what my future is going to look like. I started bawling! So, what does that have to do with the dreams I've been having? I really believe He is preparing me for a wedding, to be married again.

I look as these dreams as if He's preparing me for what's to come. Not that I know the time, for it's in His timing all things take place, yet it's almost as if I feel something on the horizon, something big. Do I wish for a tall, dark, handsome, God-fearing man to be what's on the horizon? UMMM, YES! But do I wish for His will more than that futuristic man? An even bigger yes than before! I don't want anything if it's going to come in between me and my first Love. He's shown me things that I've never dreamed of, and I don't want that to be taken away.