It dawned on me that I haven't been here in a while...little bit busy and a whole lot sick! Last night, however, is a night worth sharing.
I was laying in bed, trying my darnedest to fall asleep and I just couldn't. This doesn't happen very often anymore, but every once in a while it does and it really sucks. I finally figured out why I don't sleep well...I need a cuddle buddy! You see, my amazing husband is also an amazing dad...one of the reasons I fell in love with him and married him. Our youngest is now 6 and also likes a cuddle buddy, usually sleeping in our bed. However, we've been trying to get him to sleep in his own bed because our bed just isn't big enough and his bed is the most comfortable in the house! Anyway, Carl started out in bed with Javis...and passed out. I knew he was tired and so I didn't try to wake him for a little bit. Then I tried twice to wake him all to no avail; when he's out, he's out!
After the second try I decided I'd just sleep in our bed and he would join me later. A half hour later I was just as awake as I was when I decided to go to sleep...sigh.
It's what happened in that half hour that I wanted to talk about here. My mind was RACING, I became irritated at the fact that he passed out down there, I was just mad for really no reason! My mind began to swirl with all kinds of negativity and all the 'wrongs' my man had done toward me. Let me tell you, I was gonna let him have it! I was gonna give him the silent treatment and just be plain mean to him all day today because of the 'wrongs' he had committed!
Out of no where I heard another voice, at first a whisper. "Love keeps no record of wrongs." At first the other negative voices (all my own) could not be silenced. I kept on my mini rampage, still determined to let my husband suffer for what I thought he had done.
The other voice got louder, and more persistent. "Love keeps NO record of wrongs." Over and over until finally I heard a distinct, "LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS!!!"
Everything, EVERYTHING, stopped. No longer did I have a record of 'wrongs' against my amazing man. I remembered that we both just got over being DEATHLY sick and he was still in recovery and was TIRED! He didn't mean to pass out with our boy, but because of all the reasons just stated he did. He did NO wrong, I did. Or would have.
If I had continued on my mini rampage I would have had a HORRIBLE weekend. If I had given in to those voices I would have been the one to suffer, not him.
So the moral of my story is to listen, truly listen to the quiet voices and not the loud ones. The loud ones may seem the way to go but let me tell you they are not. The loud ones are the ones that are spewing lies and deceit.
The quiet voice is the one talking truth. It whispers at first, yet if we are truly willing to listen to it we will reap the benefits. This time I was able to hear the voice of truth yelling at me, and I'm sure it is because I had a willing spirit to listen, learn and grow from the experience. Other times I have not been so willing and I have suffered for it.
Oh yeah, my husband? I finally was able to wake him and get him to come to bed with me :-)
