Hmmm

So many thoughts...so little time...It's about 8:40 at night and as calm as can be in the house. It's a gorgeous evening as well...I made a mistake though. I went down memory lane. I saw some pictures on facebook of my dear Doug and instantly I'm pulled back into those days. Those days. That has two meanings: the days of a marriage that at those times was nothing and the days when I was married at all. Now I don't have a choice. Well, I do, and I choose to go through this with flying colors (says the girl who follows the rules and the ABC order of life and wants nothing but the best), but I don't because now I am not married...that was taken from me.

I've done a lot of thinking in the last few days. Thinking about my marriage, my life since then, and what exactly have I learned in this trial? My marriage was just beginning to be what God had called it to be, and now it's gone. My life since Doug's passing has been interesting to say the least, as well as humbling. And I am learning just what I have learned in all this.

I learned that I am strong. That I make a great mom and an OK dad (I'm thankful for my kids' Uncle who fills that role as much as he can). That I'm vulnerable and it's OK to say that I need help. That I'll bend...but I won't break.

You see, I've done a lot of bending. Most of which I'm sure the enemy wanted to break me, but either my God is bigger (which is where I'm going here) or I'm down-right stubborn! Our God is bigger than ANYTHING the enemy throws at us...and that's what I've got to remember when looking down memory lane.

I believe I will marry again. God has told me to dream as a little girl dreams of her wedding. He's told me it will be divine, meaning that it will be divinely made and I'll only have Him to praise for it all. And He's given me just about the best kids on the face of the planet to walk this road with me (one just happened to pop down to the computer area ;-) ).

We can go on...just lean on Him, hope in Him, and trust that He is ever near...Blessings sweet friends...