here I am

Anyone who knows me is possibly thinking, "ABOUT TIME YOU STARTED BLOGGING!!" Well, here I am now. Willing to be obedient in writing.
So what now? What should I blog about first? Maybe just that...firsts. Here's a list of my "firsts"

*Christmas. Yes, first Christmas. This is the first Christmas in 11 years that I am "single" - widowed actually.
*First time being a "single" mom. I've always had him by my side in this.
*First time Christmas shopping without my beloved.

OK you get the idea...now let me fill you in. This last July I became a widow. My husband was a fireplace installer who was a perfectionist in his profession...ultimately his demise. He was installing a fireplace when he noticed two wires needing to be wire nutted together so as to not cause a fire or anything. It was hot that day and even though he was wearing his rubber protective gloves he became the ground for the whole house when he touched the wires. I have had high highs and low lows. That week was one of a blur. I'm only 31 and I had to say goodbye to my 39 year old husband's earthly body.

Our kids have taken it different ways, yet I'm certain because of the Light they see in me they are handling it better than any other kid out there. We all have our moments; moments where we fall apart and moments where we laugh hysterically. And that's what I tell people...laughing or crying, which do you want? They often say laughing.

My hope is that this will be my safe place, a place where I can rant and rave about in-sensitivities of others around me, where I can share the good, the bad and the ugly AND NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. I'm not looking for solace or comfort from man, I'm looking for safety to say how I feel without others saying boo about MY FEELINGS.